Top 10 Ways to Tell You are a Republican

10. People don't take your work as a drug-busting DA as seriously since you got busted for shooting speed.
9. "Loaning" your wife to another guy sounds like a good idea.
8. You've been laundering money to support your hillbilly heroin habit.
7. The wife won't stop complaining about how you repeatedly sodomize her against her will.
6. You cheated on your both wife and your other mistress.
5. You kicked people out of your church for voting Democrat.
4. The company you used to run has been making windfall profits ever since you became Vice President.
3. You're the best known gay whore in the country.
2. Lord only knows how many laws you've broken.
1. Your wife makes jokes in public about you masturbating a horse.