you won't have to drop and give anyone twenty-five, and no farm animals will be involved

Panhandle Truth Squad has learned that a number of first-time caucarousers¹ in Amarillo were intimidated and dissuaded from serving as delegates to the county convention through misinformation. Specifically, it was suggested that-- if they attended the county convention-- they would be required to serve as a delegate to the state convention; furthermore, they were led to believe that the state convention would cost them $5000 to attend. As a service to Texans unfamiliar with our bat-crap crazy system, PTS now provides a partial list of other things you will not be required to do at the county, state, or national Democratic conventions.

An example of the sort of hazing ritual you will not be required to participate in at Democratic conventions, no matter what you may have heard.

• You will not be required to hold your breath until you turn blue. (You may, however, be required to wear blue.)
• You will not be forced to drink as many shots of Rumpelmintz as you are years old (but you can if you want to).
• If someone asks you to do the "elephant walk" you are probably younger than us and have been confused for a University of Texas fraternity pledge. As a Democratic delegate, you do not have to take part in this activity.
• You are not required to swear eternal fealty to the horned god Baphomet. In fact, in the current environment, it might be better if you did not. Unless, of course, you don't mind your Republican secretary getting forwarded e-mails about you.
• You do not have to wash Superdelegate's cars, or make them sandwiches, or take Superdelegate's pets for walks. At the moment, it looks like Senators Obama and Clinton will be taking care of all such errands.

spacedark

¹ What do you call them, "caucus attendees"? "Caucus-goers"? You must not have attended the same caucus I did.