“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into”

Jonathan Swift
"The Democrats have moved to the right, and the right has moved into a mental hospital." - Bill Maher
"The city is crowded my friends are away and I'm on my own
It's too hot to handle so I gotta get up and go

It's a cruel ... cruel summer"

Friday, May 28, 2004

Bush Caught Not Misleading

In fact, he has clearly announced his plans for his second term in two well-known quotes:

"War on Terra." (numerous times)

"We'll all be dead." (qtd. by Bob Woodward in Plan of Attack, 2004.)

Thursday, May 27, 2004

That Darn Liberal NPR . . .

. . . is actually not so liberal.

GO HERE and read about it

Here's a snip:
"Overall, Republicans (Sources) outnumbered Democrats by 61 percent to 38 percent, a figure only slightly higher now, when the GOP controls the White House and both houses of Congress, than during a previous survey in 1993, during the Clinton administration."

Stick that in your SCLM (so called liberal media) pipe and smoke it Rethugs.


Wednesday, May 26, 2004

War is peace . . .

Peace is war . . .
From the Ministry of Truth, better known as the Amarillo Globe News, this awful unsigned column.

There was nothing to Bush's speech except for the same meaningless talking points he has memorized while on vacation 42% of the time.

Hey AGN, the Bush "outline" has one itty bitty problem . . .
There is no outline! Outlines have details. An outline IS A PLAN folks!
Who will be in charge of Iraq's gov?
Who will be in charge of Iraq's oil?
Who will be in charge of Coalition forces?
How will elections be held when US soldiers are still in hot spots?
Who is investigating the war profiteering?

You know, a few middlin' details like that were missing from Bush's "speech".

We rely on our press to point out these little facts, and ask tough questions because us average Joes cannot.

A meaningless, "We have always been at war with Euraisa" style parroting of this crooked administration from the local paper does not serve the public trust.

Want to see how far away we are from what Bush and our right-wing biased media pushed as a reason for war in Iraq? GO HERE.


Monday, May 24, 2004

War = $$ for the Bush Family

Exactly how much money has the Bush family made personally from this war?

Uncle William works for EASI, which gets $400 million in defense contracts a year. His stock options are worth about $3 million or $4000 per dead US soldier (750).

President Bush (41), until fall 2003 worked for Carlyle which gets $2 billion a year (With a 'B') in taxpayer defense money and just sold $335 million in stock or $45, 000 per dead US soldier (750). How much did Poppy Bush get, and how much will Dubya inherit?

Brother Marvin Bush works for Winston Partners which gets $327 million in taxpayer defense money per year or $43, 600 per dead US soldier. How much is his piece worth?

Brother Neil gets a $60, 000 a year consulting fee with New Bridge Strategies, a firm that helps set up contracts in Iraq.

War is good for the whole Bush family!


Sunday, May 23, 2004

Sunday Fun

As seen on Dailykos. . .

How many members of the Bush Administration does it take to replace a lightbulb?
The Answer is SEVEN:

1. one to deny that a lightbulb needs to be replaced

2. one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the lightbulb.

3. one to blame the previous administration for the need of a new lightbulb.

4. one to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of lightbulbs.

5. one to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton Industries one million dollars for a lightbulb.

6. one to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the lightbulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag.

7. and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.


Saturday, May 22, 2004

The Ties That Divide

In a earlier post, I commented that I was internally debating whether to abuse columnist Debbie Daniel in this blog. Her column is printed in a Panhandle newspaper, but she is based out of San Marcos.

Actually, the information I originally cited had her based out of San Marcus, but, since the only San Marcus I can google is a nude resort, I'm guessing that's a typo.

Especially after reading her bio at a squalid little place called the "American Daily News & Commentary." I learned that Ms. Daniel majored in Psychology and Religious Education, served as a youth church choir director, and made a country gospel album entitled The Old Country Church.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But Church Lady Daniel also writes columns like "Hatred: The Weapon That Destroys!" in which she-- ironically-- hatefully attacks liberals with statements like these:

So, Johnny Boy, put your medals back in the box, we’re not having “show and tell” now.

and . . .

[Ted Kennedy is] a pitiful sight, but we just let him screech on; he’s a defiant buffoon, but a weapon nonetheless.

and . . .

[Y]es, I question John Kerry’s patriotism. Every time he feels it’s being challenged, he huffs and puffs. Why, our network newscasters won’t even wear American flag pins for fear it will offend someone. So, indeed I challenge their patriotism, too . . . no matter how loud they cry.

I'm not even sure these are the worst examples.

And this is why I have chosen to abuse Debbie Daniel in the Panhandle Truth Squad. Everyday in Flyover Country we have to deal with "Godly Christians" who couldn't turn the other cheek if they were stuck in a revolving door. Who couldn't Love Their Enemy even if their enemy was a real hottie wearing the latest concoctions from the cover of Maxim. Who are convinced that Jesus is a Republican and Geo. Bush is his running mate.

Debbie Daniel's just one example of this mentalitity, but, dude, she's a really bad example.


Must Read Mark Morford

This a must read article from one of the best columnists around.

Go check out Mark's latest.
Bush: Dumb Like A Bullet
Is Dubya both a bumbling simpleton *and* a shrewd manipulator who smirked at tortures in Iraq?

"Let's just say it again: Rummy allegedly ordered the torture plan. Rummy's undersecretary, Stephen Cambone, ran it. Bush knew about it, even way back in February. As did all of his senior staff. As did the CIA and the NSC and even the Red Cross.

They knew of the torture and humiliation techniques. Knew of the secret beatings. Knew of the electrodes and the snarling dogs and the pistol whippings and, very possibly, of the forced sodomy and the rapes. Not of suspected terrorists, but of people. Men. Women. Young boys. Suspected Iraqi "insurgents," many of whom were, by the military's own admission, wrongly detained in the first place. What fun."

Wow. 'Nuff said

Friday, May 21, 2004

Friday Humor . . .

Try this soon, before Google fixes its site:

Go to google

Type in (but don't hit enter): "weapons of mass destruction" (don't forget the quotes!)

Hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, instead of the normal "Google Search" button.

An "error" message will come up, but before you delete it, read it carefully.

READ CAREFULLY what appears to be a normal ERROR message page. Make sure you read the whole error message.

Google gets it!

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Urban Legends in Rural West Texas

Since this is the Panhandle Truth Squad, perhaps we should take a moment to remember that there's a whole Top o' Texas filled with Republipundits. And every Republipundit in west Texas has a snipe-catchin' gunny sack full of wild inaccuracies and deeply immoral argumentation.

Take Debbie Daniel, for example.

Ms. Daniel's actually from downstate ("San Marcus," according to the newspaper in which I have the misfortune to encounter her weekly column), so I'm still internally debating whether I should abuse her in a blog called the Panhandle Truth Squad. I'm inclined to think that I won't be able to resist, but for now I'll content myself with abusing the newspaper in which she is printed up here, the illustrious Moore County News-Press, out of Dumas, Texas.

The same Moore County News-Press which today printed (in the print edition only) a column attributed to the famed comedian Robin Williams purportedly offering a foreign policy plan for the United States. Wow! Robin Williams wrote a column for the Moore County News-Press! Except it sounds more like Charlie Daniels' xenophobia. But no matter! Robin Williams wrote a column for the Moore County News-Press!

Only he didn't. It was actually an e-mail received by an employee of the paper and reprinted. An email that has been thoroughly debunked by snopes.com.

Panhandle editors: familiarize yourself with snopes.com Urban Legends Reference Pages! Now! It's fun and easy-- and they do your job for you.


Latest Repub spin: "Those A-rabs didn't say nothin 'bout our losses. . .

. . . why should we care about Abu Ghraib?"

The Mid-East has condemned atrocities against Americans, this is more Republican boolsheet. (Scroll down to "Condemnations of Prisoner Abuse, Berg Murder in Middle East")

This RNC spin point was repeated again in a guest columnn by Billy Fite in today's Amarillo Globe News.

Let me help break this down further for our Republican friends;

Our ... troops ... work ... for ... us.
Their ... acts ... are ... our ... acts.
We ... are ... res - pon - si - ble ... for ... what ... they ... do.
We ... get ... to ... vote ... on ... their ... boss.

But ...

Arab ... thugs ... do ... not ... work ... for us.
Their ... acts ... are ... not ... our ... acts.
We ... are ... not ... res - pon - si - ble ... for ... what ... they ... do.
We ... do ... not ... get ... to ... vote ... on ... their ... bosses.

Another thought. . . why does Jessica Lynch hate America?

can't say it enough. Private Lynch is one of my favorite people.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

The Devil and Dave Henry

The only bad thing about deals with the devil is that Old Scratch always comes to collect.

It seems like just yesterday-- and it almost was-- that the Republipundits were twisting around each other until they looked like their own naked and overexposed version of the sick pictures out of Abu Ghraib. But it was reality, morality and common decency that they were twisting as they tried to explain away torture. They tried to tell us those horrors were not so bad, some on the pages of your Amarillo Globe-News.

When they justified these atrocities, the Republipundits crossed a line they shouldn't have crossed. They didn't all cross it. But those who did made their own pact with the devil.

The hawks who defended the war crimes at Abu Ghraib are in it for the duration. They now find themselves in the unenviable position of defending atrocities growing ever more atrocious. When will the Globe-News run an editorial defending Wednesday's Wedding Party Massacre? I give them till Saturday.


Goring of Kerry

Just a friendly heads-up to be on the lookout for the following RNC talking points to appear in the Amarillo Globe News, in conservative columns, on Tim Russert, from ditto-monkeys etc: FYI . . . it's garbage!

Kerry is a "Flip-Flopper"
Click Here:

Kerry is playing politics with education
Click Here:

Kerry is the #1 recipient of lobbyist contributions in the Senate.
Click Here:

Just some ammo for ya.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004


Much is being made of the so-called "Jesus Factor." Snark-with-training-wheels Dave Pell has discussed it in Electablog and The Village Voice ran an explosive article detailing Geo. Bush's meetings with Fundamentalist eschatologists who read Left Behind as if it were a series of cookbooks.

Pell in particular doesn’t completely understand the evangelical vote. It hardly seems possible, but these guys are even more Manich├Žn in their outlook than Geo. And what is their number-one black & white, good vs. evil, with-us-or-against-us issue?


Out here in Amarillo, we've seen the billboards described in the Voice. Some evangelicals already perceive that Geo has appeased Palestinians at the expense of Israel, and that’s a major no-no. If these guys still think that way on election day, they will stay home or write in Judge Moore or something.

The scary thing about the Voice article was the implication that, in order to avoid these sorts of no-shows, Geo is adapting policy to conform to premillenialist, apocalyptic scenarios. The end of the world might be a self-fulfilling prophecy.


24 Hours later in Massachusetts

. . . and people are going to work, the Red Sox are going from hot to cold and back to hot, people are raising their kids, buying houses at extortion prices, losing/gaining employment, drinking coffee, reading the paper, and Bush is still mangling the english language. Oh, and gays are getting married.

Get my point? There is a BIG chance this affects some member of your family.

It was just 90 years ago that our wives, sisters, mothers, and daughters were considered too low to vote, and many good Christians argued that it was God's will that it be that way.

It was just 140 years ago that my African-American friends would have been someone's property, and many good Christians argued that it was God's will that it be that way.

You are a sucker if you believe the conservative lie that there is a "gay agenda."

That so-called agenda? Freedom. Liberty. Equality. America. Homosexuals are Americans, taxpayers, voters, and our brothers and sisters - just like you.

Here's a little scripture I like to repeat for the ditto monkeys:
Matthew 6:5-7: "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full."


-Prodigal Son

Monday, May 17, 2004

Dear Zell Miller (Click here to see article)

Dear Zell "The Democratic Party Left Me" Miller,

Regarding your speech to the GOP nutballs . . .

Might I recommend that you do a little research next time?

According to the Right-Wing Tax Foundation, Georgia's state and local tax burden ranks 18th in the nation, at 10% of income.

While in small government loving Massachusetts, the state and local tax burden ranks 36th in the nation, at 9.6% of income.

Business friendliness? Free market loving Massachusetts, according to the Tax Foundation, ranks 12th in the nation and commie loving Georgia ranks 25th.

Georgia also gets more from the federal government than it sends in taxes! For every dollar you freeloaders send to Washington, you get back $1.01!

Massachusetts? A whopping $.25 of every dollar we send
to DC is stolen from us and redistributed to welfare
states like Georgia who can't manage to take care of

Prodigal Son

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Are You Better Off?

What are you paying for gasoline today? In 1990?
What are you paying for milk today? In 1990?
Are some of your friends concerned about their jobs? In 1990?
Do you feel like our economy is good? In 1990?
What is the country's deficit? In 1990?
Do you feel like our country is safe? In 1990?
Do you think our schools are moving ahead? In 1990?
Do you trust congress to run your government? In 1990?
Do you think the U.S is admired around the world? In 1990?
Do you think the middle-east situation is improving? In 1990?
Do you we're headed in the right direction? In 1990?


The Liberalator

"So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!!"
-Howard Beale, from the movie 'Network", 1976

-Prodigal Son

Welcome to the Panhandle Truth Squad