“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into”

Jonathan Swift
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"The Democrats have moved to the right, and the right has moved into a mental hospital." - Bill Maher
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"The city is crowded my friends are away and I'm on my own
It's too hot to handle so I gotta get up and go

It's a cruel ... cruel summer"

Monday, April 03, 2006

Fools to repair our schools

I'm thrilled to see we have some of our city's finest thinkers working on the problem of public schools. Virgil and Celtic should get together at one of the local coffee houses (no wait, too liberal)--waffle houses (less sissified, more manly, good conservatives don't drink lattes)--and pencil in ...er um... set in stone(I almost forgot we're dealing with divine wisdom in this case) the solution to the sticky problem of school finance and low test scores. I'm sure their combined experience in the field of education will stand them in good stead.

Meanwhile they should sleep at a Holiday Inn Express tonight and tomorrow morning call up Dubyah to solve the problem of illegal immigration (or if not solve at least figure out who to blame, i.e. blame Vicente Fox and liberals, though business owners certainly can't be blamed at all.). Lets see....tomorrow afternoon they can get down to the problem of the national debt(blame liberals and even though Reagan ran up 4 trillion, Dubyah Sr. another 2 trillion and Jr the rest, blame Bill Clinton as well), and just for grins around Letterman time tomorrow night after Virgil's bed time (Celtic is still up spending all that "hobby money"), Celtic can resolve the war situation in Iraq (if liberals would just shut up and get on board we would have kicked butt by now. Most Iraqi's really love Americans; just look at how well that sixty year old Palestinian thing has worked out. And remember how well we almost did with the Shah in Iran...we could do that in Iraq too, only this time we'll spend 400 billion a year for the next twenty years to make it stick. I'm sure the Chinese will lend us the money, at least until we gain Banana Republic status).

It's good to know with guys like Virgil and Celtic on the job we can all just relax...just like Hunter Thompson finally did.