Aborting Immigration Reform

It is another classic case of . . .

In her guest column "Immigration bill is about the heart and soul of America" (AGN June 3, 2007) Claudia Stravato writes at length about the many reasons for supporting the immigration reform bill before congress. Many undocumented immigrants speak English, pay taxes, work hard and contribute to the economy. “Only the simple among us” think we can deport 12 million people (why does Virgil Van Camp come to mind?).

But Claudia lets fly this little barb: “It is only the hate-filled, racist and xenophobic rhetoric of social conservatives, some of the religious right wing and the uninformed who are drowning out the voices of reason.”

Well this jab cannot go unanswered, so . . . the guilty dog barks first!

David L. Smith says his friends are against amnesty because it rewards these criminals, who place a financial burden on our communities and drive down wages. He takes a swipe at Stravato, CEO of Planned Parenthood, by saying that if we reduced abortion we’d have a “larger labor pool [pun not intended] of American citizens who might work for South American wages.” (Curiously this means 50 million people placing a financial burden on our communities and driving down wages instead of 12 million. Didn’t think that through, did you Mr. Smith?)

Mr. Smith also discovered his friends aren’t part of the “hate-filled, racist and xenophobic, and part of the vast religious right-wing conspiracy.” It’s true Mr. Smith, not everyone is “hate-filled, racist and xenophobic, and part of the vast religious right-wing conspiracy,” but if you asked your friends and it’s not them, then it must be you.

Next up is Eddie McMurray, who just knows leftists have no clue about reality and thinks it’s real suspicious if they agree with the President. So he’s going to talk turkey on this amnesty thing, and does proceed to gobble-gobble the rest of the way with factoids, non sequiturs, the fanciful and what can only be called the semi-deranged.

While he does bring up Planned Parenthood, he doesn’t pop the “hate-filled” line. All he wants to do is “cut the lifeline of jobs, entitlement, schools and housing, and they will go back the same way they came.” Damn wetbacks.

Rick Corbyn is outraged at Stravato’s claim there is strong support for immigration reform (damn evidence). The current bill is “iniquitous,” and there is broad support to seal the border and deport “all illegals back to Mexico.” “The time has come to . . . stop Mexican women from slipping across the border to have babies.”

Let us imagine that horde of 8-months pregnant Mexican women with their swollen bellies, waddling across fifty miles of desert, through cactus and past rattlesnakes, in 120 degree heat, without water or food, tearing their flesh as they pry through the barbed wire or scale the 15 foot high fence in the dark of night, running and hiding from patrols, hiking for more miles searching for their contact, packed into a sweltering van and driven jostled and bounced for hours on washed-out dirt roads. Yes, just slipping across.

Corbyn doesn’t think Stravato should be calling people bad names:

“She also denigrates all who oppose amnesty for illegals with the usual leftist clique propaganda that bill opponents are hate-filled, racist, uninformed, religious right-wingers.

"In my view, Karl Marx would make a similar claim if he were living.”

Oh that naughty guilt by association. Rick, you sure you weren’t thinking of Groucho?

Last and least we have Robert E. Barfield who lets Stravato have it with PP’s “abortuaries” and illegal invasion and “evil” employers and lawbreakers. He ends on this note:

“Her explanation that they are only trying to use these other lawbreakers to operate their businesses appears to be a distinction without a difference, or a difference without a distinction.”

Either this is one of those Zen-metaphysical profundities that conservatives accidentally fumble across or it is their usual attempt at being profound and ending up a gnat breaking wind sort of thing. (Think of two brains without a single thought and you have a Republican conversation.)

The one thing that really flames conservatives in these parts is illegal immigration. They aren’t going to think about it; they aren’t going to debate it; they’re just going to go ballistic with every slur and epithet and run them felon scum out, period.

The problem with Claudia’s charge that “It is only the hate-filled, racist and xenophobic rhetoric of social conservatives,” is it is too gentle. More inflammatory words are allowed in the AGN, only they are permitted to conservatives, not liberals. Also, for all the bigotry displayed in the AGN, the subject of immigration is the one to which Mr. John Q. Kanelis, editor, is not insensitive, and thus imposes some restraint.

We here are PTS are therefore in a position to provide additional, colorful, and more precise descriptions for these conservative knotheads than is usually allowed in the AGN. Remember, these scum sucking, bottom feeding, jack-booted buggering fascist morans have asked to have their bigoted pea-sized cracker brains knocked about with a few choice words.

Your turn -- and no swearing.