live from amarillo, it's sunday morning!

Here with a commentary is a grumpy old man. Welcome, Grumpy Old Man…

Grumpy Old Man: I'm old, and I'm not happy. Everything today is improved, and I don't like it. I hate it! In my day we didn't have cell phones. If you wanted to howl at another Australopithecus, you stood out on the savannah and howled! You couldn’t "text," but all three of the verbs that had been invented were still verbs and that's the way it was and you liked it! You loved it. Whoopee, I can say “eat” and “fire burn” and “run from Moeritherium” and not a noun in sight! Except for “fire” and “Moeritherium,” that is. Those are nouns, aren’t they, Debs?

There was nothing you could do about it. If you had something an adult didn’t want you to have, they hit you over the head with their big stick and took it and that's the way it was and we liked it! We loved it. Hallelujah, look at me, I'm a teenage Australopithecus afarensis getting hit over the head with a big stick, oh happy day! Not like today, everybody talking to each other. I hate it!

In my day we didn't have this communication. So you could enjoy life. In my day there were only about ten words. You said ugh and pointed and that was enough! And half the time you didn't even know what you were pointing at. We used the same words over and over again! 'Cause we were ignorant morons! Just a bunch of teenage Australopithecae standing around pointing and howling and that's the way we liked it!

spacedark