Tuesday Briefs: Baloney and Spumoni

War on Global Warming Warning: If the Amarillo Globe-News isn’t sermonizing about Intelligent Design and creating doubt about evolutionary theory (it’s a guess, you know) they’re telling chilling stories about fake warnings about global warming and the vast left-wing conspiracy against the American economy. Dennis Palmitier has yukked it up with “Gore-bs-zoic” and Van Camp has put in his two cents because Al is a damned Democrat. If you read the AGN all scientists are arrogant idiots (rocket scientists do medical research). Only in Amarillo could a retired ink-jockey and a scat spotter be considered experts on climate change and everything else in the world.

The latest installment of carbon-emitting manure comes hot off the pile from Larry Wyble, who in his utterly blinkered, fallacious and provincial way gets things wrong. The problem is he and others are getting their information from bunk-rich sources like “CO2 Science” and “Friends of Science” which are fronts for ExxonMobil and other oil companies.

For real science that refutes the misinformed claptrap the AGN is churning out via Palmitier and Wyble please turn to NewScientist Environment.

Marie Fisher gives Mr. Wyble a rebuttal today, but of course facts are irrelevant in the Amarillo Globe-News.

Separation H: D*ve H*nry, God bless his soul, was never able to find “separation of church and state” in the Constitution when it came to Ten Commandment monuments at the courthouse, so he never had any problem with the Ten Commandments on public property.

He wasn’t able to find “separation of church and state” when it came to nativity scenes, so he had no problem with a crèche on public property.

He wasn’t able to find “separation of church and state” when it came to prayer in schools, so he had no problem with government sponsored prayer in public schools.

But let Arabic language and culture be taught in a public school and suddenly D*ve H*nry has discovered the separation of church and state.

Well maybe that should only be, as H*nry says, “mosque and state.” After all, D*ve hasn’t done gone seen the light and figured out the First Amendment. It still means freedom of his religion, not anybody else’s, especially them terrorist rag-headed sympathizer types.

And we’ve been done gone over this afore, how teachin’ Arabic don’t make a school a madrassa or a mosque, but that don’t make a lick a difference to these cowpat kickin’ jackasses round here. And H*nry wonders how a racist bigot like himself got on the Council on American-Islamic Relations’ e-mail list. I guess, Saffia, being the cretin he is, H*nry will keep on a wonderin’.

Sex in the Country: The following headline accompanied a column by Candy Gibbs of CareNet Pregnancy Centers (why is it always Candy or Tiffany or Charity?) in rebuttal to Claudia Stravato of Planned Parenthood:

“Safe sex alone doesn't solve crisis”

If more readers (and parents of particular columnists) of the Amarillo Globe-News had practiced safe sex alone we wouldn’t have these problems.