PTS Guest Blogger: Pat Robertson

Dover Sleeps With the Fishes
by Pat Robertson

I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city, and don't wonder why He hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for His help because he might not be there.¹

Oh, yeah, and them are some real nice houses ya got there, Dover. I'd hate to see them all burned to the ground. I'm not saying it will happen or nuthin. I'd hate to see it happen if it did, though. Because God won't be there to protect ya. Ya know what I'm sayin'?

And, say Dover, them are some real cute kids ya got there. It would be a darn shame if somebody, oh, I don't know, ran them over on the way to school some day. I'm not saying it will happen. Just that it would just be a shame if it did. God won't be there to watch over the kiddies. Ya gettin' me Dover?

So you be careful out there, Dover. The world's a dangerous place. I'd hate for something bad to happen to ya now that God ain't around no more. Capeesh? See ya 'round, Dover...

¹This is an actual quote from Robertson. The rest of the post is satirical b.s. I shouldn't have to point that out, but you never know what some idiot might be thinking...