Tuesday Briefs: Felix Feriae

Amarillo Globo-Noticias?: In what has to be one of the more improbable events to occur in Amarillo, a con-man was arrested for selling advertising in a non-existent Spanish language version of the Amarillo Globe-News.

What makes this story so ridiculous is the well known (one had thought) hostility of the existent Globe-News to the Hispanic community and the invasion of immigrants and non-English speakers into the United States. For Less Simpson to even entertain the notion of a Spanish AGN before the universe reaches infinite entropy is simply absurd. One can well imagine him responding to the idea suggested by the scam not with a “no” but with a “hell no!”

No doubt he and his xenophobic gangsters are laughing at the suckers who fell for this one.


Banning Democrats: Anything about the Potter-Randall Democratic Club is banned from the Amarillo Globe-News. But once the public library decided to ban the club from their premises the club finally got a mention in a skiffing editorial from D*ve Kanelis. Has anyone checked lately to see if Hell has frozen over?

This latest attempt to turn Amarillo into a one-party town comes courtesy of complaints, no doubt bi-partisan, that the club had, after a decade of meetings, violated library policy on electioneering.

D*ve Kanelis, in his typically John H*nryesque way, does not mention that if any one has been “guilty” of electioneering it is Republicans, including Ron Paul, Swinford and Thornverysmallberries.

But why note any of this when it is Democrats you want to make the low-browed heavies and the librarians the enlightened liberals in this most conservative of towns? Thankfully you won’t find a more informative, independent account of events.

Besides, what real use are these temples of knowledge, these repositories of intellect called libraries anyway? One imagines H*nry has never perused a library’s shelves except for books to ban, nor Simpson darkened one’s door but for bonfire kindling. Kanelis at least has probably been through some of the greater works -- and corrected them to AP Style.


Feliz Navidad: In the Ciudad de Yellow an anonymous admirer salutes City Hall and the Civic Center for again putting up those twinkling holiday decorations in defiance of those dark and unnamed forces out to ban red and green light bulbs and sleigh Santa.

But it is remarked that a crèche (spelt crche by Van Camp and not corrected by dd (or maybe that’s AP)), a hallowed nativity scene beloved by right thinking and true faithful residents, suffered a legal challenge and was “regrettably” given the axe some years back. Our learned anonymous editorialist frets that our most Christian community isn't celebrating a most Christmas Christmas in all its full-blown religious glory on public property.

There is something in the First Amendment that addresses this issue, but our nameless scribbler, despite the countless civics classes he has slept through, cannot find “separation of church and state” in the Constitution and is therefore unable to interpret it in anything but a juvenile and crabbed way.

The Cat’s prat cannot grasp the concept that government should keep out of the business of determining or influencing faith or matters of conscience, and that these should be beyond the political will, and thus the tyranny, of the majority. Only because our religious faith is protected from twits like Cat’s prat and his fellow dims do we enjoy the religious freedoms we have.

A hearty Saturnalia to all, and to all a good night!