We still have a few days to go until Xmas arrives, but I'm going to go ahead and declare George Maliha the winner of the just-now-created Most Paranoid War on Christmas Letter to the Globe-Republican.
Some of my favorite highlights:
Nothing has been spared from this attack. Some Santas have been instructed to say "Ha, Ha, Ha" rather than the classic phrase, because of the latter's negative connotations.Why wouldn't Santas say Ho, ho...ooooh, I get it. Gangsta "hos". Har har. Seriously, who comes up with this crap?
Christmas trees have been usurped and are used by atheists as "trees of knowledge."Trees of knowledge? WTF...
Many people have said that the "War on Christmas" is a ploy meant to distract us from more pressing issues.Yeah, I would be one of those "many people." Meanwhile, in the Land of Stuff That Actually Matters:
Bargain houses largely unsold
Another foreclosure record was set in November as 1,336 properties were offered to the highest bidder on the courthouse steps in Modesto, Merced and Stockton.ECB lends banks $502 billion
Now here's the real surprise: Only 17 of them sold, despite lenders offering deeply discounted prices.
Nearly 400 banks take up central bank's offer to supply year-end funding; money market rates ease.Fed gives $20B to banks in credit crisis
The Federal Reserve is providing $20 billion in loans to banks as part of an unprecedented auction process to ease a global credit crisis and make sure financial institutions can keep lending to their customers.Morgan Stanley Posts Loss on Writedown
Morgan Stanley, the No. 2 U.S. investment bank, reported a $9.4 billion writedown on Wednesday from bad bets on mortgage-related debt, leading it to take a $5 billion infusion from an arm of the Chinese government.
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