“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into”

Jonathan Swift
"The Democrats have moved to the right, and the right has moved into a mental hospital." - Bill Maher
"The city is crowded my friends are away and I'm on my own
It's too hot to handle so I gotta get up and go

It's a cruel ... cruel summer"

Friday, September 14, 2007

An Apologia 1.02

The Law Offices of Nibon and Mitsu, Sunbeam Napsters and Feather Toy Chasers, LLP, would like to apologize for the actions of their client, Erik V. Williams, former commissioner candidate, at the Chamber of Commerce Barbeque yesterday, September 13, 2007. To wit:

6:10 -- that he accosted a perfect stranger thinking she was his bartender.

6:30 -- that he accosted another woman who had been his bartender.

6:50 -- that while talking with Jay Ricci, local ABC anchor, Madison Scott, city commissioner, walked up to say hello, asked where the beer was, and Mr. Williams pulled an “AGN” and called him “Scott.”

7:15 -- that he accidentally kicked Judge Arthur Ware in the ankle.

7:20 -- that after Jim Simms (city commissioner and Vice-President of Amarillo National Bank who was cooking at their booth) remarked that Mr. Williams was too busy to be a commissioner, Mr. Williams wise-cracked that Mr. Simms should “keep cooking the brisket.”

7:30 -- that when drinking with the Hall County commissioners, he insulted one of their horses by saying it reminded him of Dav* H*nry.

7:45 -- accosted his bartender.

8:04 – suggested something suggestive to the couple that bought him drinks that had a suggestive name.

8:15 – accosted his bartender.

8:20 – insulted a police officer by saying he looked like Less Simpson.

8:21 – started raving at the police officer that Amarillo was run by Christians and that George Bush was a moron.

8:24 – seven police units called to the bar.

8:45 – scared the cats by arriving home reeking of cigarette smoke and perfume.