Graduates,
Up until now your life has been measured by school years, with regular, and for the most part, easily obtained goals. You'll continue to measure your life in similar ways, at least for the next few years. Eventually, however, you will be hurled into the gulf of life to sink or swim. I graduated 20 years ago this spring. I forget the exact date, it was late May or early June. Strolling across the stage at Dimmitt High School, diploma in hand, I thought I knew it all. HA! I've been served many a slice of humble pie since then.
38 doesn't exactly make me an old man, but I'm sure as hell not young anymore. 20 years is a fair amount of time and I'd like to pass on some advice gleaned from observation and personal experience:
- Don't get knocked up. Don't knock anyone up. Seriously. This is the single most important thing I can tell you. You've heard it before, but I'm telling you again. I've lost count of the number of times I've seen this happen to my friends. The summer after our senior year one of my classmates got pregnant. Then another. And then another. And on and on like that for the next few years. Nobody ever threw confetti in the air and danced when they found out. It's an unbelievably difficult way to start your adult life. So don't let it happen. This is something you have complete control over. Alright? Oh, and don't go thinking you're too good or righteous to turn up pregnant, either. I've seen more than a few holier-than-thous get the surprise of their lives. A baby you aren't ready for is going to make you completely miserable.
- Don't be in a hurry to get married. This is almost as bad as getting knocked up. Look, there's a big difference between marriage and a wedding. What you'll find yourself wanting soon, especially you ladies, is probably the wedding. It's a romantic and fun party with all your friends and afterwards you get to take a sex-filled trip to some exotic location. Well, that romance and passion die off over time. What you're left with is something akin to a business partnership...a partnership you swore to God and the world was going to last forever. The person you are right now isn't necessarily the person you'll be 4 or 5 years down the road, and that can change the kind of person you'd choose as a partner. That shift in who you are and what you want from life can destroy a relationship. I've seen it happen too many times. Just be patient...
- Live within your means and don't go into debt. I got my first credit card when I was 18. Despite the fact that I was broke and unemployed some bank gave me a credit card. I managed to use it infrequently for the first few years, never charging anything more than a pizza. Eventually I gave into temptation and purchased a portable CD player. It cost me about $200 and, being a minimum wage college student, it took me over a year to pay off that $200. That was my first bout with debt. $200 seems like nothing now, but at the time it might as well have been $2,000. I went through two more painful debt cycles, the most recent being when my wife and I got married (12 years ago) and we combined our credit cards. There will times when you just can't help but whip that card out: car repairs, college tuition, health expenses...but a new pair of shoes or an mp3 player? If you can't pay cash then you don't need it. Take a good hard look at the world around you right now. Your country and your fellow Americans are absolutely swimming in debt, and some people are going to be completely destroyed by it. Learn from their mistakes so you don't repeat them.
- Not long after I graduated from college ('93) a buddy of mine passed through town. "I'm moving to Alaska..." he says, "...and you're going with me." I thought about his proposal briefly and decided against it. It just seemed like too much, so I decided to play it safe. He went off to spend the next couple of years having experiences of a lifetime in America's Last Frontier, while your's truly frittered time away in Canyon, TX. I deeply regret not embarking on that adventure when I had the chance. I'm now Married, With Children, and an occasional nice meal is about as exciting as things get these days. Being an adult pretty much sucks, and the older you get, the worse it is. If you play your cards right, the next 10 years or so of your life will be filled with the sweetest freedom you'll ever know. Don't waste it! Don't be content with the path of least resistance. If you want to come home to settle down you will always have that option, but you will never get the chance to go back and do things over.
Good luck to you, Graduates.
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