“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into”

Jonathan Swift
"The Democrats have moved to the right, and the right has moved into a mental hospital." - Bill Maher
"The city is crowded my friends are away and I'm on my own
It's too hot to handle so I gotta get up and go

It's a cruel ... cruel summer"

Monday, May 19, 2008

unsubstantiated fearmongering e-mail: Choose Your Own AdventureTM edition

Please use caution/wear protective armor/panic immediately if you must drive/walk/run/dine/carouse with members of the opposite sex of questionable morals on Georgia Street/in Wolflin/on the East Side/on the Boulevard/anywhere in Amarillo. There have been three/seven/an infinite number of shootings/stalkings/spitwads/blog postings aimed at innocent/guilty/nolo contendere drivers/joggers/dog walkers/aimless wanderers along that street/in that neighborhood. One by the Chrysler Building/Sears Tower/Petronas Towers that almost struck a young woman traveling with her toddler. One along I-40 and Georgia around Central Park/the Golden Gate Bridge/Lake Geneva. And today around your house/your garage/waiting for you in your living room when you get home tonight.

Police are trying to find out who this person/these people/these Republicans are. Some seem to think it may even be gang/drug/polygamy related. None/All of the victims have been hurt and they do/do not seem to be related incidents.

Please use caution. They seem to be attacking randomly/targeting you specifically.

Pass along to everyone you know.

With love,