Election Forecast Now

Amarillo’s early voters have cast 6,946.27 ballots. Exit polling conducted by employees of the Law Offices of Nibon and Mitsu, Sunbeam Napsters and Feather Toy Chasers, LLP (not certified by the board of Polling Specialization), now permits the Law Offices of Nibon and Mitsu, Sunbeam Napsters and Feather Toy Chasers, LLP, to present a fair and balanced forecast of the likely outcome of the Commissioner Place 4 race:

Erik Williams: 4 bird nests
Fransetta Mitchell Crow: 3 butterflies
D. C. Chamberlain: 2 bits of string
Jim Simms: 1 desiccated vole
Dave Henry: 1 nit*

*It should be noted that Mr. Henry is not actually in the Commissioner 4 race, but is supremely dedicated to his own race.

At this time the Law Offices of Nibon and Mitsu, Sunbeam Napsters and Feather Toy Chasers, LLP, would like to endorse Mr. Jim Brokenbek for his outspoken position against noise, as we believe this should apply to barking dogs that annoy and distract cats, particularly when leaving the McCartt’s backyard.

The Law Offices of Nibon and Mitsu, Sunbeam Napsters and Feather Toy Chasers, LLP, would also like to announce that we are considering a lawsuit over fair and equal representation in Amarillo. This law firm believes the small proportion of village idiots in this city are over-represented on the editorial staff and letters section of the Amarillo Globe-News. This law firm is prepared to take them to the pound -- as soon as our rabies and other vaccinations are up to date.