“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into”

Jonathan Swift
"The Democrats have moved to the right, and the right has moved into a mental hospital." - Bill Maher
"The city is crowded my friends are away and I'm on my own
It's too hot to handle so I gotta get up and go

It's a cruel ... cruel summer"

Thursday, May 03, 2007

a wing(nut) and a prayer

(Note: No longer satisfied with simply humiliating the Amarillo Globe-Republican's Dave the Wingnut by demonstrating that his intellect is vastly inferior to that of your average Guy With a Website, I have elected to further make fun of him by parodying the tired format of his weekly columns. This piece comes complete with a "Psyched Out," a "Another Weekly Sign America is Headed Downhill," a "Pat on the Back," and a "Kick in the Pants." Yay!)

In the spirit of the National Day of Prayer, let me just say: Jesus H. tap-dancing Christ.

Dave the Wingnut wrote a very pious column yesterday sarcastically chiding "misguided guardians" of the "treasured" U.S. Constitution who worry that the National Day of Prayer "has been converted by the religious right, or more specifically, the Christian right." Dave's prose is ever difficult to parse, but I have to assume by his tone that he is ridiculing those who treasure the Constitution.

I'm proud to say that Dave ridicules me when he ridicules such folks. Hell, last July 4, I wore a U.S. Constitution pin recycled from my old Webelos colors along with my flag pin. Webelos colors ... y'know that means I used to wear that pin on my sleeve. Ironically, the very same place that Dave Henry wears his religion.1

As usual, Dave debates so many straw men in this column that he ought to change his name to Dorothy and put on his ruby slippers. But along his own amarillo Brick Road to his own bizarre Emerald City, Dave the Wingnut assures us that the Day of Prayer doesn't mean any specific prayer to any specific idea of any specific deity. To back up his point, he quotes the most objective source he can find: a Baptist preacher.

"(The NDP) is not a political event in any way. It is not designed to push one agenda over another agenda," said Paul Nachtigall, pastor of Pampa's Highland Baptist Church.
Forgive me if I'm not consoled by those assurances.

Especially when the National Day of Prayer is chaired by Shirley Dobson, wife of James Dobson, and former winner of the Eagle Forum's Full-time Homemaker of the Year Award.

Psyched Out

Also yesterday, there was this:
Bush's congressional supporters, such as U.S. Rep. Mac Thornberry, R-Clarendon, have it exactly right: that opponents of the war need to present the president a "clean" funding bill that doesn't contain withdrawal language that our enemies can - and most assuredly will - use against us. They also point out that if Bush's congressional opponents are so dead set against continuing this conflict, they need to cut off all money for the war right now.

That won't happen, of course, because to do so would be to surrender to an enemy who has made his ultimate aim as clear as Bush's veto: You abandon Iraq and we'll follow you onto your shores.
How does Kanelis keep a straight face when he claims to be a "liberal Democrat at heart"?

Another Weekly Sign America is Headed Downhill

A Pat on the Back ...

... to the Ghostly VoiceTM of the Amarillo Globe-Republican. In a brave, brave move the Ghost risked the ridicule of Dave the Wingnut and stood up for the First Amendment! The Ghost reminds us that the Globe-Republican has been honored with a Pulitzer Gold Medal Award, the "highest prize in journalism," in 1960 (for those keeping score, that's twelve years before Morris Communications took over the paper in 1972 and-- oh, I don't know-- a thousand years or so before Les "Bloody Glove" Simpson took over as publisher. )

The Globe-Republican certainly deserves a Pat on the Back for this half-century old award! But they also deserve kudos for defending the
confidentiality pledge journalists give whistleblowers who otherwise might fear for their jobs or even their lives for revealing wrongdoing in government and business.
Truly, the Globe-Republican is one newspaper that understands that its primary obligation is to the people of the community-- and not to government or business!

Give me a freaking break. How stupid do they think we are?

Kick in the Pants ...

To (who else?) Virgil Van Camp, who today used the "Some Say" propaganda technique to propagate a nightmarish mishmash of rightest-of-all-wings conspiracy theory and paranoia:
Far right-wing blogs and publications routinely promote the idea that there is a conspiracy among one-world government elitists to erase national borders ... Now their sights have been lowered to create the North American Union, similar to the European Union. Some blogs suggest that this shadowy group also is responsible for the EU.
Virgil, dear, put down the Weekly World News, turn off Art Bell, and take your meds.


1 Although I am leading the charge to change the expression to the more contemporary "wearing it on their bumper".