“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into”

Jonathan Swift
"The Democrats have moved to the right, and the right has moved into a mental hospital." - Bill Maher
"The city is crowded my friends are away and I'm on my own
It's too hot to handle so I gotta get up and go

It's a cruel ... cruel summer"

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Less Than Extraordinary Rendition

Nibon and Mitsu, LLP, have retained the services of Rex, Buddy, Bowser and Mr. Piddles, Attorneys at Law, to represent the legal affairs of calamus venenum in the State of New York. Even though the aforementioned attorneys specialize in veterinary malpractice and are currently engaged in defending a client against a class-action neutering lawsuit, Nibon and Mitsu have learned the following:

1) calamus venenum is somewhere in the United States
2) a photograph, purportedly of calamus venenum taken at Niagara Falls has appeared on the Al-Jazeera website (see picture, below right). Photo and story are by one Abdul Alhazred and though subjected to two CAT scans, untranslatable.

UPDATE: Partial translation "infidel calamus venenum [?] held/outraged in/by American van camp. Tortured by Malkin, Coulter book/reading [?]"

We could, however, translate the following advertisement posted by al Qaeda in Iraq:

WHITE SUPREMACISTS, ARYANS, CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALISTS. Let us set aside our minor differences and combat our TRUE ENEMY: ATHEISTS & SECULARISTS! Together let us destroy IMMORAL LIBERALS. Together let us DESTROY DEGENERATE GODLESS UNBELIEVERS! JOIN AL QAEDA TODAY! We offer great medical and dental plan.

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At this time we would like to apologize for some of the content in the previous post “you can BET on it.” Many editors act as “gatekeepers,” protecting the reading public from tasteless, rude, or offensive material. We live in a civilized society, and many of us will have found some of the words objectionable or offensive. Rather than completely censoring content, many editors have chosen to replace various letters with an asterisk so that the reader may infer the insensitive, vulgar, or offensive word that is being used. From this point on we shall adhere to this rule, and therefore the words "Dav* H*nry" will appear in this form in future.