“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into”

Jonathan Swift
"The Democrats have moved to the right, and the right has moved into a mental hospital." - Bill Maher
"The city is crowded my friends are away and I'm on my own
It's too hot to handle so I gotta get up and go

It's a cruel ... cruel summer"

Friday, May 18, 2007

the ill-information superhighway

FINAL UPDATE: We have eliminated the "quite possibly."
UPDATE: calamus venenum's description has been changed to "quite possibly criminally insane."
UPDATE: In our continuing effort to distance ourselves from the dangerous philosophies of calamus venenum we have altered the adjectival clause before his name to read "pinko communist."
UPDATE: We have again updated the description of calamus venenum to read "needing professional attention."
UPDATE: We have altered the description of calamus venenum to read "slightly batty."
UPDATE: We have changed the description of calamus venenum, below, previously "vaguely humorous" to read "edgy, and not everyone's taste."
UPDATE: We have changed the description of calamus venenum, below, previously "singular wit" to read "vaguely humorous."

(Amarillo) If I've learned anything in my three years in the blogosphere, it's this: If someone says you won't hear from them again, you'll always hear from them again. "I'll not respond" is a self-unfulfilling prophecy. Like Richard Nixon, internet trolls will be there to kick around, even unto the end of the world.

So an e-mail titled Your ill-informed blog that reads in part "So, go ahead and make a fool of yourself again.... I'll not respond" doth portend a veritable daisy-chain of related e-mails extending inevitably toward one titled Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your ill-informed blog. So spake Jim Brokenbek, who is every bit as convinced of our wrongness as he is wrong himself, and thus we find ourselves in Cyberia's equivalent of a Taurean hornlock.

Just two, only two, points, and then I'm (*wink) outta here, so over the issue, not gonna talk about it no more, you won't hear a word from me about it, I swear, I'm done wit it, I'm putting on my Republican-skin cowboy boots and riding off into the storied West Texas sunset never ever ever ever to be heard from again. But first our most recent exchange with Mr. Brokenbek:

Brokenbek: At no time did I "damn" downtown revitalization; I did say that the downtown crowd needs to politely get in line and wait teir [sic] turn until other long unmet needs have been addressed. Until you and Kanelis have taken a remedial reading course, there is no point in trying to communicate with either of you. So, go ahead and make a fool of yourself again.... I'll not respond.

PTS: The phrase was "damn with faint praise". Here's what it means. Thanks for reading.

Brokenbek: Had you been to all the forums, each of which had usually only 3 minutes to state one's case, you would have heard me say the downtown crowd has my blessing, but no blessing on my tax money for projects that have arisen of late while other LONG unmet needs have gone unaddressed. I've hammered this sentiment over, and over, and over, and over. Is nobody listening, or can nobody read?
Point numero uno: In the campaign we tended to like Mr. Brokenbek's pro single-member districts stance and disliked Mayor McCartt's. We liked McCartt's boosting of downtown and knew that Mr. Brokenbek would... uh... not promote it as vigorously. So those issues-- the two biggest in the recent campaign-- were a wash. But Debra McCartt's been such a good mayor. And only one candidate for any place was on the right side of both issues.

Point numero two-oh: Downtown revitalization would help the entire city. At one of the forums we apparently didn't attend... (Where were those places, with the smarmy pizza restaurant owners and the jewelry peddlers talking about themselves?) At one of the forums we apparently didn't attend, an audience member heckled the candidates, claiming that downtown development would only help southwest Amarillo. The reverse seems to be true, as southwest Amarillo is fairly far from downtown. Wouldn't downtown revitalization increase the value of the areas closest to it-- the funkycool Plemons-Eckle and Bivins areas, Wolflin (which admittedly needs little help), and, yes, even poor bedraggled San Jacinto.

Point numero three-oh: The phrase ill-informed blog is redundant.

Point numero four-oh: We can read, at a very high level. The oeuvre of Louis L'Amour is not beyond our capabilities. We can also write awful dang purty.

Point numero five-oh: Who are the "downtown crowd"? We think of gay club-goers or homeless winos in bus stations. Neither of which are represented on the current City Commission, to the best of our knowledge.

Point numero six-oh: Panhandle Truth Squad was represented at every single forum.

We'll concede one point. The nickname "Brokenbek Mountain," conceived in a late-night stupor, was very nearly pointless and too easily misunderstood by reactionary nutcases.

Given this e-mail exchange, we'll change it to "Brokenbek record".1


1 The singular wit vaguely humorous edgy, and not to everyone's taste slightly batty needing professional attention pinko communist quite possibly criminally insane calamus venenum proposed this nick.