“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into”

Jonathan Swift
"The Democrats have moved to the right, and the right has moved into a mental hospital." - Bill Maher
"The city is crowded my friends are away and I'm on my own
It's too hot to handle so I gotta get up and go

It's a cruel ... cruel summer"

Monday, May 14, 2007

Election Results, Final Tally

The Law Offices of Nibon and Mitsu, Sunbeam Napsters and Feather Toy Chasers, LLP, are pleased to announce the final results of the City Commissioner Place 4 election:

Erik Williams: 9,554 votes or 83.8%
Fransetta Mitchell Crow: 9,269 votes or 81.3%
D. C. Chamberlain: 8,721 votes or 73.6%
Jim Simms: 4,423 votes or 38.8%

It may be noted that there is some slight discrepancy between our results and those that the City of Amarillo and the Amarillo Globe-News are reporting. "They have their numbers and we have ours." This inconsistency may be partly due to the fact that even in this modern and enlightened era cats are disenfranchised and our votes are not counted.

As we have seen, however, dogs have the right to be licensed, and are allowed to run free in our streets, parks and for public office. Uncouth animals that they are, they take dumps in the public square without burying them.

We hiss at this inequality; we hiss at Simpson’s lapdogs; we hiss at Simms’ poodles. We remain un-cornered; we remain un-treed! And after a quick trip to the litter box we are going to sharpen our claws on their old scratchin' post, the one with the dingalings on it.