“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into”

Jonathan Swift
"The Democrats have moved to the right, and the right has moved into a mental hospital." - Bill Maher
"The city is crowded my friends are away and I'm on my own
It's too hot to handle so I gotta get up and go

It's a cruel ... cruel summer"

Wednesday, May 30, 2007


To Whom It May Concern:

It has come to our attention that someone, apparently in a fit of extreme, vitriolic flatulence, has deposited their entire brain on this blog. This brain, shown below under moderate magnification --


-- has shown itself to be inert and unresponsive to normal stimuli, though it occasionally recoils at the word “blacky” and “jeweler.”

If you recognize this brain, or know someone recently visiting this blog who has exhibited a sudden change in behavior, such as depression, lethargy or rigor mortis, please send a postcard with your name and address to:

Lost Brains
Small Red Matchbox on the Top Shelf
3rd Lost and Found on the Right, Lower Level
Grand Central Station
New York, New York

Please be precise in your identification, as the matchbox contains many, many lost conservative brains (you just won't believe how many are in there).

If you do not recognize this brain, or have not seen any changes of behavior in your friend, then this brain wasn’t being used to begin with.

Thank you for your attention.